sorry WordPress

I’m done here…Blogger is simpler for me, and instead of spending precious time trying to figure out how to post widgets and what the heck it even is, I’m going back to what I already know, and spending time writing instead.  And blogstats are way to freaking addictive…

LoveGrower

Screw anoniminity, I have better things to think about than to avoid my blog stalker.  Like Love, my life and how my energy is best spent living both.

Thank you to everyone who followed me here and persevered through my learning curve with me!  Grab your gardening gloves and join me in my newest garden…

peace,

Lil xo

take these eyes and make them true

taken (with absolute delight) by Tom

This inspired me. 

I turned to Tom and said words that needed no further motivation other than “I have a challenge for you right here, right now.” 

The challenge was for me, though…

to let go of my judgement of my mother body
to release the guilt that weighs me down like mafia cement drowning my heart
to yank the duct tape off my burdens and let the tears flow…

swaying hips moving, whirling…
cleansing me of everything in the moment.

find freedom he urged with every shutter click.

cracked

The first crack ripped into my path February 4, 2005…the day my daughter was born.

I easily side-stepped it, floated over in fact…for the first 4 days.

And then, other tears began to appear. They seemed to multiply and spread every day, cleaving into my seemingly solid direction…severing me from my baby and my existence. It was getting harder and harder to weave my way through…

When Monkey-Moo was just shy of 2 months old, my world gave way from under me. I fell. I reached out to grasp at the vitality above, and held on tightly to stop my descent.

My grip lessened every day…until I felt it slipping out of my hands, and I began to plummet again.

I didn’t struggle to hold on any longer…I welcomed the approaching darkness…I didn’t have the strength or will to persevere. I pleaded for the chasms to close up around me…let Life continue on without me…

And thus began my battle with post-partum depression.

*

I’m creating a blog for the sole purpose of writing about my depression with the intent of provinding support for other mothers who are in crisis.  www.lillithtemple.blogspot.com

kiss me baby, kiss me

Most of the disco memories I have are attributed to my aunt who was living with my family during the late 70’s.  I was withering under the boringness of the classical music my parents listened to, so when my hip aunt crashed at our place I would lay on her water-bed, watching her get ready for her “dates” and drink in the sexy music blaring from her clock radio.  No one was cooler than my aunt.   And I have fond, secret memories of rollerskating under black lights and disco-balls stars, skate tongues tied down, swaying my hips along with the lustful beats…

Thirty years later (egad, I can’t believe I can say that), the music from that era instantly turns me into that prepubescent lascivious girl.

It’s the season of rejuvenation and rebirth…Imbolic is upon us…it just seem appropriate to tingle with the stirrings of Life’s fervor.

Exile ~ Kiss You All Over

tagged with a reminder

“The whole universe is the stage on which your mind dances with your body, guided by your heart.” ~ Yogi Tea

There are more days than not that I find inspiration in my wee world.  Be it through my relationships, the books I read, or the little tag on my favorite Yogi Tea.  I’ve begun to collect these tags…and pull them out from a little sundae bowl ontop of my monitor whenever I need a lift.  This one in particular brings makes me well up with gratitude…a reminder of the wholeness of myself, that I am not separate from you or the rest of the planet…and that I am never, ever quite as alone as I may feel at times.  Thank you universe for the reminder…

To add to the above tag…I am also guided, ultimately and gratefully by the love of Goddess.

letter from Her

Dear You,

This is your year…and I know you can feel it, because I’m whispering loudly in your ear.

This is the year to make your unique imprint on the world.  I know you struggle with feeling like you make a difference.  I know you sometimes feel like you are drowning in toddler toys and laundry.  But sweetie, even in those repedative actions…you act with love, even if steam was blowing out your ears.

Do you remember the day I came to visit you through your classmate?  Do you remember that I told you that it was time to act on all the motivation and strength you’ve gathered from self-help books?  That was five years ago Lil…now it’s time.  You can do it my love…you have the courage and tenacity to plod through your day to day tasks and make room for more self-affirming joy.

I am here.  I am never leaving you.  I support you.  I love you.

Now go and make footprints. 

Yours…and yours alone,

ME

new year, new place

Welcome all to my new blog site!  I’m still working out the kinks…design, blogroll, widgets and CSS (although I admit I don’t have a clue what the latter are exactly)!

 I plan on completing it during the holidays…and back by the new year!  I’ll be around then to see you all…talk, smile, cry…all the things that we do so well together!  See you then…

shakin’ with sleigh bells,
Lil xo

transform your world and yourself

go here…show up like magic…and then tell me you don’t think there is a shift happening despite all of the crap in the world today. This is what Jen Lemen is all about folks…

I love it when acts and thoughts of LOVE still kicks ass…no matter what time of year. Oh and the poster, I bought 3!

rain, rain go away

it’s been one of those days…inexplicable tears…clouding my vision of twinkling lights and gingerbread crumbs…

but this song always, always cheers me up…and Holly does one helluva fine job…sing soulful sister, sing.

“I Can See Clearly Now” by Holly Cole

Sacred Sunday ~ Giving

How do you define gifts in your life? Do they have a dollar value, or do your recognize other forms of giving?

What if you were someone who’s gift was serendipitously knowing people who knew people at a local soup kitchen in your city…with an awesome recipe to share?

Or what if you found yourself gifted with an extra hour to spare, say, to fill boxes with cans and packaged food that would later be shipped by someone else gifted with the ability to drive a truck full of such boxes to the local homeless shelters or your next door neighbor?

What if you found yourself with a spare buck or seven…enough to gift to an organization that could stretch those bills into providing a family of four with enough meals for 24hrs?

What if you were gifted to be able to read this post, this one, and this one…and, given the choice to keep going on your merry (but undeniably more wisened) way…would you?? What gift will you wrap up in your unique way to contribute to the season of giving?

How much change can your heart spare?